Day 263: "But why is all the rum gone?" (Captain Jac, POTC)

Ahoy landlubbers and scalawags. Is me fourteenth favorite day of the year, talk like a pirate day, arrgh. Shiver me timbers, it was a busy day. Me hoisted the colors and was off. Me'n'th' crew seen a great grand sea beastie, th' mother of all whales, aye. Had to send some scurvy bilge rats to Davy Jones' locker, but aye, just a pirate's life for me. Time for some grog, savvy?

Thanks to Wikihow for assisting me in today's featured embarrassment, talk like a pirate day! I am celebrating by watching Pirates of the Caribbean 2 while wearing a pirate hat and talking/writing like a pirate.

I decided last summer that being a pirate* would not be such a bad thing, for several reasons:

• Travel
  
• People fear you
  
• You don't technically have to bathe
  
• Firearms
  
• The search for treasure
  
• You expect treachery and deception
  
• Possibility of hot boys with long hair and sexy earrings
  
• You rely on yourself
  
• You get to carry a sword
  

And, obviously, cavorting with Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom is a nice incentive, too.

*The romanticized Disney version, of course. Not the ones off the coast of Africa and Indonesia kidnapping tourists.