Thursday, August 30, 2012


My first foray into corn hole seems to have been one of the more popular portions of my last post, thanks to this picture:

I posted that one because it was the funniest, and because I post too many pictures of myself and wanted a silly one. But I would also like to show that I did try to play it the correct way by throwing underhand:

And I still sucked. After dozens of throws I still only managed to make one. I welcome guidance and instruction for the next time I play.

However, I should mention that in any sport I play, I tend to just like to throw/hit/whack the crap out of anything to deal with my pent up aggression. And also, I may or may not have hit my future sister-in-law with one of the bags.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Things I Learned This (Last) Weekend

This is a long one. But since it took me so long to get it up here, I think that should be ok.

I really should join a country club.
They're just so pretty.

Nothing is better than a day off from work with mimosas and family.
Especially when you add in the amazing food, location, company, laughs, craziness, etc.

Slightly better than mimosas with family: Lounging on a piano.
Yep, this happened. Cross it off the list.

My aunts and mom throw a great luncheon.
Something I already learned, but worth repeating.

It is possible to spend less than 10 minutes in Ikea.
When all you have to get is a wedding centerpiece. (But it's not very fun.)

Little cousins make the best trampoline jumping companions.
"Tell Bonnie to meet me on the trampoline." (Mason)
Gosh, I love trampolines. And my little cousins.

Shopping at Belk during the back-to-school sales can yield some amazing deals.
A $50 Fossil wallet for $12? Yes, please!

Sitting on legs for half an hour while transporting wedding soup is more than worth it.
Not that there was ever any question that there is anything I wouldn't do for wedding soup.

My family throws one heck of a beautiful wedding.
And my cousin makes a beautiful and happy bride.

I suck at cornhole.
And the 7-year-old cousin took great pleasure in beating me. As he should.

Every wedding, no every day, should have a photo booth.
Yes, I went through 4 times. No, that was not the record. (coughgraycough)

If you start dancing (to the truly horrible "Single Ladies") during the bouquet toss, you will "lose focus" and have lots of family members (fake) yelling at you.
To be fair, I did lose focus. And also to be fair, it's not my fault a darn 10-year-old caught it.

It's a miracle anyone in my family ever gets married. In 7 steps.
1. Young man asks cousin how old I am. She tells him I wouldn't be interested.
2. Aunt 1 asks young man to ask me to dance. (I may have also played a role in this.)
3. Whilst dancing with young man, Aunt 1 comes and takes our picture. (To be fair, she was the wedding photographer.)
4. Whilst dancing, Aunt 2 comes and takes our drink because Mom said we looked awkward.
5. Whilst dancing, Uncle comes and threatens young man.
6. Still whilst dancing, cousin's new husband threatens young man. With some sort of army knife. (To be fair, he is in the military.)
7. Still whilst dancing, I warn young man that the people gathered in the back are all my family and that they're all watching. Closely.
But I also re-learned that my family is hilarious and it's nice to have people looking out for me. For now.

Sonic claims they stay open until 1 a.m., but I believe they sense when tipsy ladies pull in and turn off their lights.
Not that this happened to me or any family member I know.

If you're going to drink too much, it's nice to have a mom and aunts to help you. And laugh at you.
Again, not that this happened to anyone I know.

Fire ants are straight from hell.
Again, something I knew before but just had it driven home yet again. Whilst running around the grounds barefoot, I got bit. It really, really sucks. (They didn't start hurting until the next day but wow, once they did, I had to work from home for two days because the itching made sleep and shoes nearly impossible.)

Airplanes sometimes suck.
I have had many issues on flights over the years with the air pressure messing with my head so I get all foggy and then feel like I'm going to pass out or vomit. This happened coming home, which combined with a slight hangover and the solid half hour of turbulence, meant I nearly cried once we landed. And spent the rest of Sunday trying to regain my equilibrium.

I love my family more than anything. (ALL my family, even though pictures below are just immediate.)
Again, I learned this years ago, but it's worth repeating. Again and again.

Wednesday Words

"Republicans only bother to acknowledge women when they’re reasserting our status as second-class citizens. Sure, they occasionally feign outrage over supposed attacks on stay-at-home moms (while nary a word of paid parental leave is spoken) and they trot out their wives to assure us how much their hubby respects women. But we know the truth—that this “respect” is conditional. It’s not based on a belief that women are deserving of human rights, but on a very specific set of rules and roles we are expected to adhere by.

Republicans can spin all they like, but what they don’t understand is that women can recognize dehumanization from a mile away. We live it every day. We know what it is to talk to a person and suddenly realize they believe us stupid because of our gender. We listen while people mansplain topics we’re experts in. We watch media that presents us as little more than masturbation fodder and walk down the street feeling lecherous stares on our back. We know what you mean when you say 'legitimate' rape. We know exactly what you’re thinking when you pretend to give a shit."
-Jessica Valenti, Fantasy Women of the GOP 

While this is specifically directed at Republicans, there are plenty of misogynists everywhere, in and out of politics. But right now it's the Republicans I feel threatened by. I cried when I read this article yesterday, my tears a mixture of anger, sadness, and fear. Especially with that last line: "We know exactly what you're thinking when you pretend to give a shit." They care about my uterus, but not me. They care about the life I could create, but not me. Unless you fit their myopic, cookie-cutter definition of a woman--which I certainly don't and can't think of any woman who does--it's all just pretending. Enough is enough. 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Wednesday Words

"The views expressed were offensive. Rape is rape…And the idea that we should be parsing and qualifying and slicing what types of rape we’re talking about doesn’t make sense to the American people. And certainly doesn’t make sense to me…What I think these comments do underscore is why we shouldn’t have a bunch of politicians, a majority of whom are men, making decisions on behalf of women."

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Things I Learned This Weekend

Introducing a friend to the wonders of Old Town's La Tasca is a great start to the weekend.
As does the sangria, too, of course. Brandie, who now works in Alexandria, met me for a happy hour on Friday and I got to introduce her to my favorite HH locale.

No, seriously, I love a Saturday by the pool.
Have I mentioned this enough this summer? My 4 hours there on Saturday spent caught up in a great book (see below) and the funky tan line of my bathing suit ties prove it.

Band of Horses and My Morning Jacket put on a damn good show.
I went to Merriweather Post Pavilion on Saturday with some friends, old and new, to see this concert. While I only have 2 songs by BOH and 1 song by MMJ, it was a great show and I will be expanding my catalog of their music soon.

A hot dog and a glass of wine can cost as much as the GDP of a small country.
Plus french fries, a margarita, and another glass of wine. But they all were good.

Two great bands, especially when they're playing "Rock the Casbah," make my ears ringing for hours worth it.
Next time, I might have to wear ear plugs. It's just so loud!

My hair is a better dancer than I am.
On the way home, Shana and I wanted pictures of us dancing. While she's cute in all hers, mine are just all hair.

The book "Gone Girl" is completely worth the hype.
And a great way to spend a Saturday by the pool in the sun and a Sunday on the couch while it rains.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Last Week

I feel so behind on blogging my life. And you know my belief: If I didn't blog it, it didn't happen. But until work calms down and stops sapping all my energy, creative and otherwise, the blog will suffer. And now for some really random tidbits from the last week.

The roommate brought me this sticker from her recent trip home. It's now hanging in my office.

The roommate also left me this note. If I want to be sure to take something in the morning, I'll leave a note on the door. A few weeks ago after doing so, I dreamed that K left a note for herself that said "take overalls." I told her this hilarious dream because, no offense to anyone, but we just aren't overalls-type of ladies. This note was a good start to the day.

My PM was out for a week so I was left to handle a lot of project work on my own. As a thank you, she brought me this huge block of chocolate and peanut butter fudge. It's amazing.

My cousin's wedding is next weekend and I don't really have a good non-black dress. And as much as I loved this one, with the tightness, shortness, and low backness, it's hardly wedding appropriate. I did, however, manage to score a $125 Banana Republic dress for $23 at a consignment store later in the week. (That had some weird twisty fabric bits going on that three of my co-workers were able to fix for me while I was on a call.)

The most bittersweet part of the week was saying goodbye to my friend and co-worker, Gloria. I was in charge of the bon voyage party which meant balloons, cupcakes, stripes, champagne, and bright colors.
I miss her tons already but know she's in for quite an adventure.

Finally, it's no secret that I'm quite the grammar nazi. (Though you can find any number of errors in any of my posts because sometimes I just don't care.) But as punishment, I'm sure, for all the times I correct them, my family loves to comment on any errors they find.

Daddy left me a comment last week about a mistake in this post, and then followed up in an email: I left a comment on the last log you wrote. Don't worry, Daddy, I'll be more careful on the next log I write.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Wednesday Words

Interviewer:Which designers do you prefer?

Hillary Clinton: What designers of clothes?

Interviewer: Yes.

Clinton: Would you ever ask a man that question?

Interviewer: Probably not. Probably not.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Things I Learned This Weekend

The inability to sleep in is the worst way to end a stressful and tiring week.
For some completely baffling reason, and despite going to bed at midnite, I woke up at 6:47 on Saturday morning, wide awake. (It's important to note, that this is an hour earlier than I get up during the week.) I started watching Netflix on my phone, which usually lulls me to sleep, but instead, I was just ready to start my day.

Pretty Little Liars is a completely ridiculous and completely addicting tv show.
Ok, fine, I'm hooked. I saw the pilot when it first aired but wasn't interested and hadn't seen any more episodes until I caught a few with the roommate. Now, I'm just addicted and watched almost the entire first season this reason thanks to Netlix.

You can get a lot done before noon when you've been up since 7.
I had some errands to run near my apartment and managed to get them all in and pick up lunch by noon. And since it was so cool I didn't have to worry about sweating slimey lotion.

It's important to open a window when spray painting indoors.
I spray painted again this weekend and during the first round forgot to open the window. It was a bit smelly, to say the least. 

One of my weekend spray paint projects: Big Ben.

Pinterest + Recommendation of friend = Clean couch
I'd seen a tutorial on Pinterest many times for cleaning a microfiber couch with rubbing alcohol and a sponge. After my friend Lauren tried it and verified its effectiveness, I gave it a shot. I didn't flip the cushions over and do the dirtier sides, but the rest of it is looking brighter.

Spray paint and rubbing alcohol fumes make for a good napping environment.
Just kidding. I think my surprisingly short nap was due more to the early wake up call, and not the variety of fumes in my place.

Reading by the pool (as usual) is great fun until 14 kids show up.
Apparently someone decided to have a pool party with 14 kids under the age of 10. Rather, 14 very loud, jumping, shrieking, splashing, running kids. When they finally left, every adult breathed a sigh of relief.

Three hours in the sun plus a wine slushie are very conducive to napping.
Though it was an accidental nap as I try not to nap on Sundays. However, I managed to still get to sleep on Sunday night, so for once, perhaps, my body knew what it was doing.

Not even Tim Riggins could save "John Carter."
Finally got around to seeing this and it was truly one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Blah. But I also got to re-watch "X Men: First Class," start "Shame," and catch most of the Olympic Closing Ceremonies, which more than made up for the bad action flick and the sub-bar Opening Ceremonies.

Friday, August 10, 2012

The Best Laid Plans

This week was the week to get back into blogging every day and to write about my beach vacation and the dozen other things I haven't written about. This week was the week to go to bed at a decent hour, go to the grocery store, eat at home every night, and keep my room clean.

Or not.

This week was the week for three meetings, none of which started on time and one that had both the location and time changed at the last minute. This week was the week for early mornings, long work days, and not enough sleep. This week was the week of sending more emails, logging more client comments, and answering more questions than I can count.

It was also the week of having to dress like a grown up not once, not twice, but three whole times! Since I so rarely have to dress professionally, and have so much trouble when I do, I documented them for future reference. (Yes, my hair is shorter in the second photo. Despite last year's butchering, I went and got a cheap haircut again last week and she cut too much. However, it really did need it.) (Yes, those are seersucker pants in the last photo. I love them.)

Now, this weekend is the weekend I get more sleep, clean, go to the movies, read, and lie by the pool. No "or not" allowed.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Things I Learned This Weekend

You can get a lot done if you don't watch the Olympics.
Since I can't get NBC in my room, the cleaning of said room has been severely neglected. So instead of watching Olympics in the living room, I put in "Gone With the Wind" and cleaned and organized my room. This included finally hanging my peg boards turned necklace hangers. I don't love them but they'll do for now.

But when watching the Olympics, make sure it's to see Michael Phelps.
I managed to see him swim his last two races on Friday and Saturday night. Rio just won't be the same.

If you put lotion on and then walk many blocks in very hot heat, you will sweat slime.
I hate sweat. Hate it like I hate Duke and mayonnaise. It turns out, tangerine-scented sweat is no better, especially when it makes you feel like you're covered in slime.

Even something as neat as a theatre yard sale can't beat the heat or compare to frozen yogurt.
The reason I had to walk many blocks in very hot heat was to stop by the yard sale with the roomie that a theatre was holding. It was interesting to see what they had out, but neither of us bought anything. Instead we high tailed it to a yogurt shop to cool down.

Spending three hours at Ikea with a friend makes for a great Saturday afternoon.
And also an expensive one. But I really did need a new hamper and light bulbs! (I probably didn't need the sheets, though.) I went to the College Park Ikea with my friend Gloria and we spent quite awhile wondering up and down the aisles, debating our purchases, and filling up our cart.

If you miss your plans to go to a movie due to oversleeping, it's nice to have the gold medal tennis match to make up for it.
I haven't seen any movies this summer and planned on seeing a 10 a.m. showing of Spiderman. But I turned my alarm off and went back to sleep, until my mom called to tell me to watch Murray beating Federer. Which I did. So even though I missed the man be a spider, I finally got to see a Brit win at Wimbledon.

I don't know what I'm going to do when my apartment pool closes.
On Sunday I of course spent several hours at the pool reading and then floating. Sadly, like all pools around here, mine will close Labor Day weekend, even though it will still be hot for at least another month, and I'm really going to miss what it does for my mental state.

The worst way to end a Sunday is by setting your alarm.
Especially when, thanks to a client meeting, your alarm is set to this:

Yes, that's two alarms for 6 a.m. I didn't want to take any chances.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Operation: Badass

"There are better compliments than being called 'sweet.' And even if I wasn't the edgiest, most dramatic person in the world, I could sometimes imagine myself being another, sharper, more powerful version of myself...But I guessed I could handle being called sweet. Sweet was a start. At least he hadn't called me 'nice.'"
-Mia, Summer of Skinny Dipping

I'm working on a project at work that involves law enforcement and may involve talking to some cops. I heard from one coworker that another coworker thought I was "too sweet and innocent" to be around so many cops.

Now, part of me would assume that "sweet and innocent" is exactly the type of person you'd want around a bunch of cops. However, not having the hangups that a lot of people have about cops due to having never been in a situation involving them, maybe the stereotypes are true and "sweet and innocent" would lead to trouble.

But that's a whole other issue. My main gripe with this accusation is that it's just that, an accusation. I AM NOT SWEET AND INNOCENT. I am 28 years old! I'm an adult who drinks, swears, wears short skirts, and jaywalks! Sometimes, if there isn't a recycling bin, I'll throw an aluminum can in with the regular trash! Because I'm just crazy like that. Rawr!

Nnow I've decided to institute at work what I'm calling Operation: Badass. That's right, no more Ms. Sweet and Innocent. (Not that I ever think I really was, but there will be no doubt after this.) After some brainstorming and then seeking suggestions from some coworkers, this is what I have so far:
  • Re-enact the last scene of "Grease"
  • Leather pants
  • Leather mini-skirt
  • Tattoos
  • Chain smoke in the hallway
  • Drink at my desk
  • Leave work to drink at a bar
  • Pick up men on the street and drink at a bar with them
  • Knock down a cop in Chipotle and then run away

I welcome other suggestions. And possibly some bail money.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Wednesday Words

"With enough courage, you can do without a reputation." 

"He never really existed at all, except in my imagination...I loved something I made up, something that's just as dead as Melly is. I made a pretty suit of clothes and fell in love with it. And when Ashley came riding along, so handsome, so different, I put that suit on him and made him wear it whether it fitted him or not. And I wouldn't see what he really was. I kept on loving the pretty clothes--and not him at all." 

"You're so brutal to those who love you, Scarlett. You take their love and hold it over their heads like a whip."
(Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell)