Operation: Badass

"There are better compliments than being called 'sweet.' And even if I wasn't the edgiest, most dramatic person in the world, I could sometimes imagine myself being another, sharper, more powerful version of myself...But I guessed I could handle being called sweet. Sweet was a start. At least he hadn't called me 'nice.'"

-Mia, Summer of Skinny Dipping

I'm working on a project at work that involves law enforcement and may involve talking to some cops. I heard from one coworker that another coworker thought I was "too sweet and innocent" to be around so many cops.

Now, part of me would assume that "sweet and innocent" is exactly the type of person you'd want around a bunch of cops. However, not having the hangups that a lot of people have about cops due to having never been in a situation involving them, maybe the stereotypes are true and "sweet and innocent" would lead to trouble.

But that's a whole other issue. My main gripe with this accusation is that it's just that, an accusation. I AM NOT SWEET AND INNOCENT. I am 28 years old! I'm an adult who drinks, swears, wears short skirts, and jaywalks! Sometimes, if there isn't a recycling bin, I'll throw an aluminum can in with the regular trash! Because I'm just crazy like that. Rawr!

Nnow I've decided to institute at work what I'm calling Operation: Badass. That's right, no more Ms. Sweet and Innocent. (Not that I ever think I really was, but there will be no doubt after this.) After some brainstorming and then seeking suggestions from some coworkers, this is what I have so far:

• Re-enact the last scene of "Grease"
• Leather pants
• Leather mini-skirt
• Tattoos
• Chain smoke in the hallway
• Drink at my desk
• Leave work to drink at a bar
• Pick up men on the street and drink at a bar with them
• Knock down a cop in Chipotle and then run away

I welcome other suggestions. And possibly some bail money.