Why I Should be Commerce Secretary

A non-comprehensive, incredibly shallow, hooray it's Friday list.

1. I am well-skilled in the intricacies and importance of commerce. In other words, I have a black-belt in shopping. And yes, it relates. Nothing prepares you for the patience and understanding needed in negotiating like fighting the crowds on Oxford Street at Christmas. Not to mention the perseverance and maneuvering required when working a deal, such as on Black Friday after Thanksgiving.
2. I don't really understand the stimulus bill so therefore, I won't resign because I don't agree with it. And no, I don't think my lack of understanding would prevent me from doing my job. Do you honestly think anyone understands it? I didn't think so.
3. I would give the best press conferences ever! If you've seen The West Wing where Josh has to hold the press briefing for C.J., you can imagine how fun mine would be. And I'd totally steal Karey's idea of making a "stupid row," which makes them even more enjoyable. And when was the last time you got excited about watching a press conference on CNN? (Unless you're me because I love them.)
4. I don't really like numbers, so I'll be switching everything to colors and shapes. I mean, which sounds better to you?
   
   a. The United States is $30 trillion in debt.
   b. The United States is four green hearts and a red star in debt.
   
   If you think a sounds better, then you probably shouldn't be reading my blog. You know who you are.
5. I was secretary of many clubs in high school, therefore I am used to carrying the title of "secretary," and am aware of the burdens and responsibilities that come with it.
6. I have no outstanding tax issues. In fact, I'm so good at paying my taxes, I paid the government last year for money I didn't even make in this country. (And while I am still bitter about it, at least I paid.)
7. I have been to the Chamber of Commerce building in Goldsboro, it is not bad looking, I presume the position has something to do with those. And if you've seen one, I'm pretty sure you've seen them all.
8. I will donate my salary to asssist in re-vitalizing our economy, since I'll be keeping my current job. I mean, I really like it and I just got a raise and changed offices. Also, I think commerce secretary is just sort of a figurehead anyway, right?

To be continued...once I find out what exactly this Commerce person does. Happy Friday!