I Didn't Fall But I Can't Get Up

I alluded to this in an earlier post, but I injured my back about a month ago. Though it didn't start hurting until a week after the fact, I think it's the fault of the trampolining. To say I feel betrayed by something I love so much, that I've loved my entire life, is an understatement. I am, of course, talking about the trampoline.

On the Wednesday or Thursday after I trampolined on the Sunday, the middle of my back started hurting. I have frequent lower back problems so I was surprised to have the middle start hurting. This was also a different sort of pain, less achey, and more throbbing. Every time I took a step it hurt. Which is inconvenient if, you know, you are used to taking many steps.

After a week of it hurting, several days of working from home, and a lot of moving as little as possible, I finally went to the doctor. She said it was a spasm and not anything more severe and prescribed me lidocaine patches and a high dose of ibuprofen. Almost a month later it isn't painful but now more occasionally achey. By the time I get home most nights I go straight for the heating pad. This is what 30 looks like, people.

This really isn't meant to complain, but to provide background on the following list. Things I Have Learned About Having a Hurt Back:

• If you whimper, people will move away from you.
• If you walk bent over like a hunchback, people will move away from you.
• If you wince or moan every time you move your bag, people will move away from you.
• If you moan every time the metro hits a bump or brakes harshly, people will move away from you.
• If you can't handle the patch on your back any longer and take it off while walking down the street, people will move away from you.
• If you look healthy on the outside, people won't offer you a seat on the metro no matter how longingly you look at their seat.
• If you want a use for those frozen potatoes and green beans you keep putting off trying, they work well as an ice pack.

• If you buy two really big bags of groceries, and have to walk a mile with them, you will cry when you get home.
• If you don't want to spend any money at Target, walk around folded in half until you can't take it anymore.
• If you fall asleep on a heating pad, you will wake up thinking you're on fire.
• If you have to empty the dishwasher, get something off a high shelf, do laundry, pick up more than two books, or vacuum, you will use your back muscles and it will hurt.