Stranger in my own kitchen

My family has lived in the same house for 23 years. Though there have been many improvements, the important stuff always stayed the same.

Then, I left for college. And within a month the parents had built a pantry. Which was and still is awesome. Not awesome, however, was that it meant changing the location of things that had been in the same place for 15 years. Tupperware in bottom cabinet to right of sink? Nope. Bread in middle drawer beside refrigerator? Nope. Just when I'd finally have it figured out where the chips were, I'd go back to school, and then the next time I came home, they'd be moved again. I'm convinced the parents waited for me to leave and then immediately switched everything, thus slowly eroding my sanity.

Ten years since the pantry was built, I finally sort of had a handle on things. Then they went and renovated the kitchen. Which is even more awesome than the pantry was. Not awesome, however, is that nothing is where it should be. The silverware drawer, which for 23 years has been above the trashcan, is now one drawer over. And the trashcan is now one cabinet over. It's like the entire world has shifted over one space! Except for the spaces where now a lazy Susan sits, which just really throws my sanity for a loop. Literally. (Though I do love a good lazy Susan. See: Yours, Mine, and Ours. The original.)

And let's not even talk about the fact that there are three refrigerators and a freezer. Sample conversation:
Mom: Get me the ground beef out of the refrigerator.
Me: It's not here.
Mom: The one in the garage.
Me: Which one?
Mom: Poppy's.
Me: It's not here.
Mom: Because you're looking in the freezer.*

I have no doubt that when I return for Christmas they will have mixed things up as much as possible just for fun so that I'll have no choice but to make my tea in a cereal bowl and eat my grits with a measuring spoon.

However, the kitchen really is stunning and all done by Daddy -- with Mom's supervision and assistance -- so I guess it's ok that I'll never find anything ever again.

*I frequently confuse the freezer and refrigerator. That's not their fault; I get distracted easily.