Things I Find Annoying This Week

This week, I'm finding it annoying:

• When someone refers to a mixed-gender or female-only group of people as "you guys." (To be fair, this bothers me ALL THE TIME.) I don't understand how we've turned "guys" into meaning "guys and gals" or just "gals." I was watching the WOMEN'S World Cup game today and my (male) coworkers kept calling them "guys." THERE ARE ONLY WOMEN ON THE FIELD. HOW HARD IS IT TO SAY LADIES? (They insist that guys doesn't mean just men anymore, but I have to vehemently disagree.)
• That I bought a very nice, not cheap dress from Anthropologie and today, only the second time I've worn it, the hem came out in the back. And in case you don't know already, my daily life doesn't involve gymnastics, pole vaulting, or marathon running; there is no reason why sitting at a desk all day should cause a bum hem.
• For three nights in a row I've been waking up around 4 a.m. because of anxiety dreams. Except the dreams are about things I'm not actually anxious about. And I have A LOT of anxieties, so if I'm going to lose sleep over something, I'd actually prefer it to be something I'm legitimately worried about.
• I have a pair of brown sandals I've had for about 4 years and in the past month or so I've started "falling off" them repeatedly, every time I wear them. I say "falling off" because they are only about a 1/2 inch off the ground.
• That I signed up for Amazon one click ordering at some point and also connected my iTunes to my debit card so that I don't think twice about buying song after song after album after album.
• That last week I went home and have many good things to write about and many pictures to post but instead I'm writing this annoying post. But it feels really good to vent so I hope you all forgive me.

This is what I voted for

I had the terrible misfortune of walking through the sea of anti-health care protesters at the Capitol yesterday. And I've been thinking about it all weekend. Weighing heavy on my mind has been one sign in particular:

Health care is a privilege, not a right

I can't even get mad over this because it just so completely breaks my heart. It was being held by a white couple in their 20s or 30s. I'm sure everything is a privilege for them, they're in the majority. And I'm a white girl in my 20s, I'm in the majority, too. But what about everybody else?

What about minorities? The poor? They tend to have the hardest time getting coverage. What about kids fresh out of college? Those who lost their job? People with pre-existing conditions? What if those sign-holders lose their job tomorrow, and with it their coverage. Will they still be singing the same tune?

Some people simply can't imagine a time when they will need a little help. And they can't muster the tiniest shred of empathy to care about how it affects others. And it just makes me very sad.

And please, please, if one more person says that the American people don't want this, that they are saying no, I will scream.

Some of us want exactly this! Some of us voted exactly for this! I want this! I voted for this!

You've had your chance for months to speak your mind and you have done that repeatedly, as is your right. But you don't speak for everybody! Your voice may be the loudest right now but you aren't the only voice. And it doesn't make you right.

Finally, to the people who spit and screamed racial and gay slurs at members of Congress, I just don't have anything left to say to you. I feel that you were probably the same people who spit and screamed during the Civil Rights Movement. And it didn't work then.

Say my name, say my name

Why is it so hard for people to remember my name?

In my entire life, I have probably met five other Bonnies, one of whom was my grandmother I was named after. And yet people are constantly blanking on my name, or even forgetting I exist. (That would be you, Women in Mass Comm professor. Every time I'd stay after class to talk to her, she'd look at me like I was a stranger.) Is it because it's not as prevalent people can't remember it? Do people just not even try?

All I know is, this is really becoming a self-esteem killer.

Open Letter of the Week

Dear Columbia Heights Target,

I stood in your snack bar line for 10 minutes on Saturday so I could buy a drink and a pretzel. Everytime I stand in your line you never have what I want to order by the time I get to the register. This time, however, you had a case full of soft pretzels, so I thought I was safe.

HOWEVER, when I finally made it to the register, I was told you didn't have any. "What about those?" I politely asked, pointing to the large, glass holding cell full of deliciously twisted goodness, all the while suppressing my rage and desire to throttle everyone in my path. "Those aren't for sale," was the mind-boggling reply.

Not for sale? A dozen perfectly-fine looking food items on display for all to see, and they aren't for sale? Please, please explain the "logic" of this to me. Or, if that's too much to ask, please consider putting up a sign -- it can be handwritten in eyeliner for all I care -- that says:
Even though these tasty morsels appear to be edible -- looking at you girl who forgot to eat before she left home and is now feeling faint -- they are not in fact for sale.

A little too wordy for you? How about:
Don't eat me
Haha not for you
Can't have

Or simply:
NOT FOR SALE!!!

Anything will do, really, just to prevent me and other people from getting their hopes up and wasting their time.

I love you, Target, I do. And even though people keep getting shot outside of this particular one, I love the location and convenience. But stand between a girl and her pretzel, and it's on.

Sincerely,
Hungry in DC

All I Want In Life

I really would like to find an allergy medicine that doesn't knock me out or make me feel like a balloon. AKA high, I guess. I've never done drugs but thanks to allergy meds I don't need to. I don't know if it's the Claritin or the Zicam or the combination. Or the fact that I haven't been to bed before 1:30ish this whole week. I really hope it's just months of insomnia combining with the meds. I like to breathe and not want to claw my eyes out, but I also like to not feel floaty and weird.

I also like to not regret leaving North Carolina, but since these allergies didn't start until I moved up here, I have no choice but to add it to the list of why home can (not always) be so much better than here.

Speaking of which, I am very close to killing someone for a good biscuit.

Whatever, your mascot is still a terp

There are no less than three companies - Citicards, Pepco, and Dell - who more than likely have a recording of me screaming at their automated phone systems. After typing in my so-called "express service code" for Dell, this is how the conversation between me and the recording, whom I have named hoity toity yankee bitch,* went:

HTYB: Your number is 55555, is this right?
Me: Yes.
HTYB: I'm sorry, I didn't understand, is that number right?
Me: YES!!!
HTYB: Sorry, still didn't understand?
Me: OH MY GOD THE NUMBER IS RIGHT, YES, CORRECT, IT IS RIGHT!!!!!
HTYB: Ok, let's try another option?
Me: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

This went on not one, not two, but THREE times before she finally understood me. By the time I got to the acutal person who was going to help me, I had a sore throat and was a little short with him at first. However, Jason turned out to be quite helpful and fixed my problem, and by fixed I of course mean made me delete everything and re-install Windows. On the upside, it's been 2.5 years since my last computer crash. On the downside, in the four years I've had an iPod, this is at least the sixth time I've had to re-upload and organize my music. Oh playcounts, I will miss you most of all.

I just want to know what is wrong with my voice or phone that makes these automated people incapable of understanding me when I speak to them. It's not like I'm improvising words or speaking Sanskrit, I am choosing from their list of options. Is "yes" really so hard to understand in computer land? (Mom thinks it's because I talk too fast, but you can not say "yes" too fast, it's one word!)

Which brings me to my main complaint, why go to an automated voice menu in the first place? Was typing in "1" or "2" so difficult? Especially as our country grows in diversity with a range of accents and speech styles.

I don't like how much responsibility we give these computers. Judging from my latest virus and a myriad of computer problems in the past, they suck 90% of the time. If one can't even run a Firefox window and Word without them "fighting,"** what makes you think they will be able to understand me when I say the too-long option of "re-connect my electrical service." Here's a hint: they won't!

With this, burning two bags of popcorn and a pizza, creepy guys at Target, and of course that thing that happened in Maryland that I will not discuss, Saturday was a really shitty day that is making me consider anger management classes.

*I just really like that insult from Sweet Home Alabama and don't get to use it enough. I don't know many hoity toity yankee bitches, which I suppose is a good thing.
**Seriously, this happened at work and that's what my tech guy told me. But he got them to call a truce and they work fine now.

What NOT to do on the Metro

I want anyone who Googles any of these things to be directed to my site, because I have a little story about unacceptable Metro/public/anytime behavior.

Why people on the metro suck
Rude people on the metro
I have a staring problem on the metro, is that ok?
Things NOT to do on public transportation
Unacceptable public behavior

I will begrudgingly give you that continuing to attempt small talk with me when I have in earphones, am reading a book, and have my "I'm a bitch" face on, could most likely be construed as a lack of understanding normal social cues.

However, sitting beside me and proceeding to unabashedly stare at me, from three inches away, is not ok. When I realize you are staring, look up and actually jump because it surprises me, and you STILL STARE, even more not ok. Creeping me out so much that I have to get off at a metro stop that's not mine, just to get away from you, is NOT ACCEPTABLE.

To the creepy guy that did all of this, you should know that I found my pepper spray and am re-adopting my college motto of "spray first, ask questions later." So good luck.

And you should also know, my prison-experience TV show of choice has been Prison Break, and not The Wire. As a result, I'm not that afraid of prison. It turns out it's alarmingly easy to escape them on several continents, and has hot shirtless guys. Did I mention I am also trained in trachea breaking, eye gouging, and shouting "NO!" whilst running away?

I don't think people understand that while I have no ass and a slight Southern accent, I have a temper that rivals John McEnroe, Naomi Campbell, and Christian Bale, combined.

Starbucks reprieve (for now)

Today I took my chances at one of the three Starbucks on King St. – figuring I would eliminate them one at time – and they did still have my apple cider. Whew. Don’t worry, you can all rest easy now. Aunt Traci, I hope this means you are still able to get one, too.

Maybe because she could sense my desperation, or because it wil be the last one she makes this “season,” the barista coated my whip cream in caramel sauce, just how I like it.

I did, however, still pick up a comment form because I will be letting Mrs. Star and Mr. Bucks know how I feel.

And sadly, Brandie, I feel I am now forced to concede your point, they aren’t real baristas if they are at a Safeway or Barnes and Noble. Your cold-hearted MBAness has corrupted me; I hope you're happy.

Death to Starbucks!

Conversation I had with the barista at the Starbucks in the Barnes and Noble today.

Me: A grande caramel apple cider, please.
Barista: We don't have those anymore, it's seasonal.
Me: But...it's still winter.
Barista: Yeah...but...
Me: Fine, I'll have tea.
Barista: Iced or hot?
Me: You have iced tea but not apple cider?!
Barista: Umm...yeah...

This is unacceptable. They never take it off the menu this early. There are only two things I drink at Starbucks, this and iced tea, usually the timing is perfect. I refuse to accept this. I will continue to ask for my drink at every Starbucks in Washington until I get my caramel apple cider!

And, also, they have hot coffee all year, why can't they have hot apple cider? It's not like apple juice is seasonal, and that's all it is.

I'm writing a letter to them, too. I have a lot of letters to write, actually. Them, Sarah Palin, the National History Museum, Bojangles, and a few others I'll think of later.

An Open Letter

Inauguration post coming soon, promise. In the meantime, a brief open letter.

Dear practically every sports announcer in the country:

Hi, how are you? Sleep well? Enjoy your free dinner*?

I just wanted to write this quick note to let you all know that it is pronounced Hans-BRO, not Hans-BORO. No, really, it is that simple.

And while Tyler is such a good guy that he is probably just happy ya'll are saying his name at all, I'm not such a nice girl. As someone with an alarmingly easy last name that is routinely murdered, I get very defensive at what some may perceive as a cavalier attitude toward vowels and basic reading comprehension.

So please, just take that extra half second as you discuss last year's across-the-board National Player of the Year. Think twice about adding that extra syllable as you announce the name of the all-time leading scorer for one of the country's greatest college basketball powerhouses. You know, that same powerhouse where his jersey will soon hang in the rafters, reading HANSBROUGH, NOT HANSBOROUGH.

I write this to you not only as a fan of proper speech, but also, not surprisingly, as a devoted Tar Heel who has been listening to ya'll get it wrong for four years. "Tar Heel Dead" isn't just how we refer to ourselves in the afterlife; it's also what we can do to you if you repeatedly piss us off. (Yes, I'm looking at you, Vitale.)

Have a nice day!

Sincerely,
Carolina Girl '06

P.S. - Just in case you were worried, there's a lot of other stuff ya'll do that angers me, but we won tonite, so I'm in a good mood.

*According to my reporting professor in journalism school: "There's no such thing as a free dinner in journalism. Unless you are a sports reporter."

Intermission

A push for everyone to watch CNN's amazing documentary "Planet in Peril." Airing Tuesday and Wednesday at 9 p.m. And if you can't watch that, at least watch the panel of experts on Thursday night, discussing how all of this really does affect everyone.

CNN takes viewers around the world in a two-part, four-hour documentary that examines our changing planet. This worldwide investigation, shot in high definition, looks at four key issues: climate change, vanishing habitats, disappearing species and human population growth.

To tell this story, Anderson Cooper, Dr. Sanjay Gupta and Animal Planet's Jeff Corwin traveled to some of the most remote and remarkable places on Earth. From exposing illegal wildlife trading undercover in Southeast Asia to seeing first–hand the devastating effects of deforestation in Brazil, they have gathered evidence on the unsettling changes taking place all around us.

Planet in Peril premieres October 23 and 24 at 9 p.m. ET.

Source: CNN.com


Off soapbox now. Real entry coming tomorrow or Wednesday.